No matter how beautiful a relationship maybe, if it happens to end, the pinch of heartbreak is inevitable. It’s no surprise that many of us resort to using people as temporary tranquilizers to make it easy to deal with our pain. Nancy Varghese explores the cause and consequences of the ‘rebound’ relationship.
A person is on a rebound when he/she gets into a relationship within a short span of ending the previous one they were in. While most often, the focus of the issue is on the moral aspect of a rebound, not many people pause to evaluate the reasons for the willingness to get involved in such a relationship in the first place. Not everyone has a spiteful side that awaits an opportunity of a break up to avenge a scorned ex-lover. Sometimes, it just feels like the best thing to do when emotional distress becomes unbearable after a point of time.
Need For Love
When you have been in a committed relationship for long enough, it becomes close to impossible trying to imagine a life without your significant other. You are so accustomed to being around each other and nearly planning every other moment around the other person’s schedule, that a break up brings your life to a screeching halt and you don’t know what to do with yourself anymore. This gives rise to a need to be with anyone who will provide you a cocoon, no matter how shallow or unemotional, so that you can seem just as sheltered in your new relationship as you were in your previous one. The feeling of dread that accompanies the realization of being single is potent enough to push you into the rebound phase at the drop of a hat. This is why it is extremely important to know that you shouldn’t get involved with someone just so that they ‘complete’ you. If you are willing to be with someone just so that you don’t have to do things alone, you are only headed towards disaster if the relationship happens to tear apart. Don’t seek solace in someone’s arms, but rather the comfort in your own company.
Ghost Of Past Relationship
The idea of finding ‘someone like you’ will forever be a subjective one, as no two individuals are alike. The time taken to move on from your ex is directly proportional to how attached you were to them when your relationship was functional. This is why a rebound is also often just a substitute for the love you have lost. You may not have actual feelings for the person you are involved with currently and you are just filling the void that a break up has left within you. This is an extremely volatile situation as the other person may misconstrue your affection for them as genuine and invest just as much in you, not knowing that at one point you may just get over your ex, and in the process end things with your current partner as well.
Seeping Insecurity
Questions like ‘Am I undateable?’, ‘What’s the matter with me?’ and ‘It has to be all me, right?’ among several others are not uncommon when you’ve just been dumped by your significant other. A rebound relationship just gives you the much-needed boost of self-esteem that is generally sucking the life out of you when you’re fresh out of a relationship and you’re drowning your sorrows in alcohol. Or staying home alone with a tub of chocolate ice-cream and a tear-jerking movie.
In conclusion, no matter what your reason for a rebound relationship may be, think them out and proceed with caution. You don’t want to end up hurting someone in the process or even sink in deeper into the quicksand of regret of a bad relationship. Stay strong and be positive. The awful times don’t last forever. There may be hurt and a whole lot of pain, but how can you love sunshine without a little rain?
